The challenge is on.

I hadn’t ever thought about how much I complain until I started seeing Light Watkins’ posts around the idea, and then I was like, surely I can go a whole day without complaining. So the week before Thanksgiving, I gave it a try. It took me almost 72 hours to get 24 consecutive hours of no complaints! The whole exercise was was way more challenging than I thought it would be. At the same time, though, my awareness around my communication—in speech, text and email—grew exponentially. I started to notice a tiny, slightly unpleasant twinge every time a complaint formed in my mind, and the unpleasantness grew if I actually said it.

I didn’t tell anyone in my family about my personal attempt at not complaining until last Sunday. When I mentioned it to Wyatt and asked him if he’d be interested in a month-long challenge, he was like, “Yes, and can we do it for money?” Naturally, I responded, “Yes! Let’s figure out the rules.” And this is how we found ourselves late Sunday morning, post-swim, hashing out the particulars of our challenge on the Brisbane pool deck over vending machine snacks.

As Wyatt licked the orange Cheetos dust from his fingers, I tapped away into a google doc on my phone. We talked about examples of complaints, figured out what felt fair, and decided practice would be key, so we would start December 1. When we got home from the pool, we presented the plan to Marc and attempted to further clarify with him what qualifies as a complaint. This definition is challenging because we also want to maintain good communication even when difficult things happen or big feelings come up during the month-long challenge. We concluded that saying once that something happened, or how we feel about something, isn’t complaining. But repeating it, dwelling on it out loud, or turning it into “this always happens,” or “you never,” or “why don’t they ever,” and that kind of thing is definitely complaining.

A couple of friends have joined us in this challenge, with their own rules, modified to fit ages and budgets. It’s already fun to be checking in to see how it’s going.

Here are our particulars. The more the merrier, so please jump in and join us in this challenge with whatever terms and incentives suit your situation.

I Can’t Complain

Dates: 6am Dec. 1 - 9 pm Dec. 31

Goal: Highest number of days not complaining

Paying in: $30 each cash

Prizes: Highest number of days not complaining gets the pot plus penalties

Rules: No complaining anywhere to anyone—email, text, school, teachers, friends, family.

No baiting

What’s a Complaint: com·plaint kəm-ˈplānt. : expression of grief, pain, or dissatisfaction. We have decided that reporting that something happened isn’t the same as complaining.

3x in the month you can save yourself from the complaint—“What I meant to say was …”

Penalty: After your 3 lives, every time you mess up you owe a dollar

Keeping Track: 4:30pm is fess-up time and sticker time. Keep track on the calendar in the kitchen: stickers for no complaining days; write down complaints. Stickers go up for the previous day at 4:30pm.

Hot tip: Keep criticism to a minimum